My “maternity leave” is almost up, and the picture above is a pretty accurate one when it comes to the reality of our lives for the past few months.  At first, Josh and I thought we hit the jackpot.  Our baby boy Jude didn’t cry and he put himself to sleep.  But each day that seemed to change, as Jude became more and more unhappy.  I adored the little man, and so I just endured his crying.  I didn’t call our pediatrician until my oldest sister, who was visiting over Christmas, said that our precious Jude was the “fussiest baby she has ever seen”.  Yikes!

After a few visits to the doctor, we finally figured out the cause of Jude’s discomfort and we have learned how to manage it with medicine, a new bed, and some simple feeding rules. He has what’s called “Silent Reflux”, ironic I realize.  I wonder if there is a support group out there for parents who have infants with reflux –there should be.

Every day, for a few weeks after we put Jude on medication, my husband would come home and ask if the day was better.  My response was always, “Look around.  The house says it all.”  If it looks like a tornado has come through the home, not a dish is clean, dust-bunnies are blowing around the floor like tumbleweed in a desert, and I’m still in my PJ’s and hungry because I was unable to eat lunch, well, that explains the day.

Lately, things have been different though.  Jude seems a little bit happier with life outside momma’s belly.  He allows me to put him down when he naps, and instead of crying around the clock, he smiles and coos at times.

I’m hopeful that soon he will outgrow most of this, and be just a little more content to, say, for example, sit in a baby swing, awake, by himself, for more than 5 minutes.  (Sorry for the sarcasm.  Josh and I have found humor to be a good coping mechanism.)

In the meantime, I’m making lists and setting goals.  Ambition is creeping back into my life, and work opportunities have been knocking at my door.  Every day’s prospect of actual productivity is a mystery, but I’m hopeful nonetheless.

And truthfully, for the most part, I guess I’m just thankful.  I have two wonderful children who have brought such purpose and happiness into my life.  Work can wait, but these two kiddos, they just keep on growing and changing.